Carolee Schneemann's Fuses

Advertising...

If I were in a 'clever play on words' mood, then this post would be called "SADvertising." Alas...

Ok, so I want to discuss how every time I walk into the subway in Toronto, I feel like I'm walking into a sexist man-cave. As a matter of fact, there are some days where I feel as though when I step out into the world (or turn on the tv, or visit youtube.com, or fuck - just open my eyes) then I feel the very same way, but the concentration of this shit in the relatively small space of the subway station seems to really help me to focus on its overwhelming sexism. Is this intentional? I don't know or care. It's sure irritating, though.

First things first; Megan just wrote a spectacular piece on the Bic Soleil ads. She's definitely articulated her feelings about that particular ad better than I could, so I suggest reading her post.

Now, another ad that I've seen down there in the past few days has been one for Victoria's Secret, which is apparently opening soon/did recently open, and the ad wants to let me know that 'The Angels Have Landed.' Wow, really? They did? Underwear angels?? How exciting for me!! What a great way to appeal to a female demographic! /sarcasm. Honestly. We have ads here that feature nearly naked, emaciated and airbrushed women being touted as 'angels' without any mention of just why it is that Victoria's Secret lingerie is so top notch. Will it make your average woman look like a Victoria's Secret model? Uh, probably not. Will it somehow introduce your average woman into the elite, secret society of Victoria's Secret consumers? Well, not in any meaningful way. So what the hell, then, does this half-naked, emaciated, airbrushed woman have to do with me? Oh, right. Shame.

All I can gather from these ads is that I'm supposed to feel as though I'm not quite as fabulous as these women, that if I try hard enough then I just might become as fabulous as these women, and that in the meanwhile if I don't want my man to be stolen by one of these fabulous women, then I'd better start boosting my titties and workin' that thong just like them so that maybe - just maybe - he can squint his eyes a little bit... and pretend I'm one of them. I will say that I have no problem with these women - no problem with their thongs, and no problem with their bodies. What I do have a problem with is the fact that this is the ONLY FEMALE BODY we EVER see in advertising for every product ever. And seriously - this is an ad campaign that appeals almost entirely to a heterosexual male, and yet it's supposed to be selling a product to me. The only other reason I can think of that someone would pitch this campaign is that women will hear men talking about the Victoria's Secret models and sexualizing them, and somehow feel jealous enough that they'd buy underwear to try to emulate them. This ad pretty much uses the generation of sexist and commodifying discussions and the cultivation of feelings of inadequacy to guilt and shame me into buying underwear. How is this healthy?

Then there's the Levi's ads. The first one I saw looked -awesome.- It was two men and a woman standing together and it read something like "Everyone's work is equally important." I was so impressed with this that I decided to take a walk down the platform to look at the other ads in the series... only to be sorely disappointed. All of the other ads featured men, and men only. To add insult to exclusion, they all featured slogans about work, hard work, and the working person. So apparently only men work these days. Thanks Bic and Levi's - you've officially kicked us so hard in the ovaries that we've been pushed right back to the 1950's again. Good for you.

Then, finally, there's the ad for Burn Notice, which from what I gather is a new show that will air on Showcase sometime in the near future. This is the ad. It's a man pretty much wearing a woman. Specifically what bothers me is this: He's wearing a practical suit, she's wearing an impractical lingerie-style dress and heels; we see about 1% of his body, we see about 90% of hers; he is facing the camera, she is facing him; he is making eye contact with the viewer, she is staring flirtatiously at his face; he is holding the gun at his side, she is drawing attention to her ass by holding it behind her back; all of his focus is on us, all of her focus is on him. See a trend? We've got a thick line drawn right down the middle of the gender binary that reinforces that women are a, b and c, and men are x, y and z. And they're the same tired, traditional gender signifiers that we've been seeing forever.

Oh, and don't try to escape this shit by staying home and watching tv - because the new Burger King ad pretty much beats the hell out of all of them. Guys go to work, women stay home and water the lawn in slow motion wearing short shorts and drinking milk shakes. Wow. How subversive and revolutionary. I've definitely never seen that before.

The case for bathroom humour.

Ok, firstly, I understand that we, as a society, have a fear of bodies. I'll actually go as far as to say that it's a bad thing that we have a fear of what bodies do and what bodies produce. In fact, I'm completely guilty of this myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm notorious for experiencing intense disgust (we call it a fear) when I come into contact with bodily fluids - including, occasionally, my own. I will say that I've been getting a lot better with this within the last few months, but every so often it resurfaces... so I understand where this comes from.

This fear of all-things-body becomes a negative, I think, when it gets out of hand. As an example, I'll use myself. There's someone in my life who started to help me turn around and face my fear of fluids and smells, but there was a time about a year ago when if I smelled - even a little - I was massively self conscious. I would announce to everyone that I was smelly just in case they thought I didn't know - that I was inadvertantly offending people - that this was just normal for me. I needed to make sure that they knew this was an anomaly. That I didn't always smell. I would use industrial deodorant - the megascented Secret brand stuff that was advertised as being particularly extra-strength. I would be humiliated about my pit-stains. I would heap makeup onto my face in order that no one would notice a blemish, and I would keep tictacs by my bed in case someone stayed the night and might be subjected to... omigod... morning breath.

This led to nothing but anxiety. And let me tell you, in the last year I've switched to all natural deodorant that doesn't stop perspiration and that lets my own smell through by the end of the day. I've stopped wearing almost all makeup, and I've ditched the tictacs. I learned, in fact, that a lot of the products that I was using every day were full of chemicals and that with prolonged use woudn't be particularly good for me. Know how many people noticed or cared when I stopped using this stuff? Yep, none. We get ourselves in a tizzy about our bodies and it's all due to advertising. We really do subject ourselves to daily doses of aluminum, petroleum, bleaches, manufactured fragrances and a host of preservatives only to avoid smelling or facing that our bodies natually produce hairs, smells, fluids and grosseties, and this is definitely not good.

My point here, is that we fear our bodies irrationally already, so what I'm about to propose might seem a bit off kilter. What I'm about to propose is that although bathroom-type comedy and insults might provoke fear of normal bodily functioning, perhaps bathroom insults are the best possible insults we can use in a world without prejudice.

Here's how I figure. Below is a list of things that I hear people call each other every day. In brackets beside each one is why this particular insult is some kind of -ism.

-Fag (Homophobic)
-Gay (Homophobic)
-Homo/homosexual (Homophobic)
-Cocksucker (Particularly egregious because it straddles both homophobia and misogyny, as for the most part, the only people sucking cocks are homosexuals and women)
-Bitch (Sexist - I would argue even when 'reclaimed' as the word actually refers to a female dog. Why women would want to reclaim this is beyond me.)
-Cunt/pussy/twat/vagina (Sexist. Generally these terms are applied to a person who is weak, timid or irritating, which suggests that these things are associated only with being female.)
-Dick/cock/prick/dickhead (Sexist, also. The reason being that these terms are generally applied to a person who is aggressive, arrogant, or stubborn, suggesting that these more assertive traits are associated only with men. Genitalia slurrs as insults generally serve to draw a clear line between Male and Female without leaving any space in between, and generally articulate clear-cut yet stereotypical differences between the genders.)
-Idiot (Ableist - because if I'm not mistaken, this was a term that was once applied to developmentally challenged people)
-Lame (One that I commonly use, but ableist no less)
-Dumb (Albeist)
-Tard/retard (Ableist)
-Motherfucker (Sexist. There are two possible meanings for this insult and both are sexist. The first would be Fucker of mothers which is offensive because it suggests that having sex with a mother, or, I suppose, a woman of advanced years, is somehow undesireable. The second would be The mother of all fuckers which is offensive because without an equivalent 'Fatherfucker,' it assigns all blame for the behaviour of all the Fucker offspring to the matriarch.)
-Douche/douchebag* (Possibly sexist, or possibly a fabulous feminist insult. It has been argued that this term is only considered an insult because of its affiliation with female genitalia. It has also been argued, however, that the term could refer to a useless object given to women to solve a problem that they don't have. I choose to think that this is a fantastic insult and I use it all the time, but for the sake of those who disagree I've added it to this list with a star to denote that it has a place on this list, but that it's different from the rest.)

Now, think of the bathroom-esque insults:
-Shit/shithead/shit disturber/shitface/shitbreath/shitmouth/etc.
-Fart/farthead/fartbrains/fartbreath
-Pissant/pissbrain

And, as Megan and I discovered earlier this evening, there's lots of wonderful creative insults to be made here that are sadly being left undiscovered:
-"You are an unflushed toilet."
-"You are the slickness I feel after someone has pissed in the shower."
-"You are ring of soil around the bottom of a bathtub."

I don't know that any of these really offend any particular group... they sort of apply to everyone. They really are just universal meannesses that have somehow never really attached themselves to one one group or another. As immature as they are, and as much as they foster a fear of our poops and pees and sweats, perhaps a fear of things that come out of our bodies is healther than a fear of a group of people. Maybe, obscene-ness aside, it would be safer to utter these insults on the bus than it would be to call someone 'lame' or a 'pussy.'

In a perfect world, we'd have classes in school that actually told us what poop was. In grade 6 science, a teacher would draw us a shit molecule and we'd all sit there and giggle and come to learn what this bodily function actually means. We'd talk about how everyone takes a shit, and we'd agree that because everyone does it, there's nothing wrong or embarassing about it. No one would feel the need to cough to cover a fart, or sneeze to cover the opening of a tampon wrapper. We'd talk, at length, about body odours and we'd all learn that really, no one can smell it if you sweat a little and that there's no need for concern if you shower regularly. We'd find out that germs that come from someone else's sweat won't corrode your skin and that someone else's spit doesn't necessarily carry bacteria that will kill you instantly. We'd learn that a woman's menstrual blood isn't poisonous and that it's not 'ohmygodsoGROSS' to have sex with her while she's bleeding. This would be so helpful.

We don't, though. And yes, bathroom insults may just make all of this worse. But I truly think that fearing sweat is better than denying marriage rights to LGBTQ people in the US. I really think that turning on the taps while I take a dump at my friend's house is a step up from being labelled irrational, hysterical and emotional by virtue of being female. I think that doing a pit check a few times a day is infinitely preferrable to alienating and lessening the worth of disabled people.

Maybe the answer is throwing these insults around like it's going out of style, and hoping as hard as we can that eventually the corporate world will stop praying on our bodily fears in order to sell us chemical-ridden crap that we don't really need.