Fifa world silliness.

SPAIN WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!!1!!1!!!!1111one
YAYYYY right?

Aaaaaand I still don't care.

Can someone please explain to me what exactly it is about sports that gets everyone soooo excited? I say 'sports' not 'soccer' because people don't actually love soccer - they love sports, and this is a cycle that is just going to keep repeating all year long - hockey, basketball, soccer, football, and when all else fails, golf and maybe poker. As long as there's a bunch of men running around in little outfits kicking, hitting, or poking something.

What's the difference if Spain wins? Would it really make a difference if it was the Netherlands who won? Or Greece? Or if the Arctic got a team together and won? What actually happens when someone wins? If Tibet wins, will gays be allowed to marry? If Canada kicks some ass, will the world decide to end all wars? If the USA is out first, does that mean that no one will ever rape again? If Bolivia wins, can (ohmigod) women finally play?? Hmm, nope. I'm pretty sure all that happens is that everyone has a big party regardless of whether their country's team won, and then we all forget about it until the next 'big game.' It's like a romantic comedy - we all know the end result (someone wins, someone loses) and yet we watch anyway (except sports are more legitimate because traditionally, they're what boys like and only men can play**. And things girls like are 'gay.' Didn't you know?)

So what's the big damn deal? Why is it that for the last few weeks it's been monumentally more difficult to hold a conversation with a stranger (someone working at a store, the bank, the computer guy, the accountant here at work...) because all anyone wants to talk about is soccer? Why can no one understand why I just can't bring myself to care?

It's also troublesome that the world cup is conveniently taking place right now. Although I don't think that this was any kind of conspiracy, I still think it's a pity that instead of talking about the police brutality and bad bad policy at the G20, all anyone wants to talk about it is Spain and the Netherlands. The front page of some newspaper in Toronto the other week had a picture of a guy dressed in soccer fan garb holding a sign that said "Forget about politics for 90 minutes!" Unfortunately, it's not 90 minutes. It's been 4 weeks. And something tells me that if you're the kind of person who thinks it's appropriate to forget what's important while you go chill and watch the game, that you're not entirely likely to start thinking about them again when the game ends. In fact, I'd put money on it that you're the kind of person who would be likely to forget about politics for the next 5 minutes while you make a sandwich, and then the subsequent 10 minutes while you take a dump, then another 30 minutes while you watch Two and a Half Men, and then another 8 hours while you sleep. Rinse, and repeat.

**I understand that women play sports, too. They don't, however, play in the Fifa world cup, the NFL, the NBA, or any other recognizable clever abbreviation. There's less public interest and less funding involved, and it's probably because - as always - if girls can play, then it's just not manly any more. In fact, it just might become 'gay.'